


We Bleed The Same

by arkhambound (c_loudy)



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Cullen is a weenie, Dragons, F/M, Heartbreak, M/M, Obvious crushing, Slow Burn, Solas Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unhappy Ending, lavellan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:03:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9079687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_loudy/pseuds/arkhambound
Summary: “I don't know, Curly. She was pretty fond of the guy, maybe you should just wait for now. Just… be there for her, will you?”alt. name : I'm not over solas smh*DISCONTINUED/HIATUS*





	1. Chapter 1

The morning had started as any would. The stained glass windows poured beams of light into the master bedroom, waking the Inquisitor as the brightness disturbed her sleep. At first her eyes opened and her gaze swept across the room before she looked to her side, her hand reaching as if to grab something. Her fingers touched soft silk linens, and she curled her fingers to a fist. Right… he was gone still. _Was he really ever there?_ Kalyn thought with a frown as she sat up and rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes. No. No time to dwell on the past when she had duties to attend to. With Cassandra as Divine, the Inquisition had been bustling with great activity. Their army was powerful, especially with Cullen as their Commander.

 

Kalyn climbed out of bed and stretched out her arms and legs with a light groan, each tense muscle relaxing. Her dreams had been… odd lately. Filled with violent terrors of demons ripping away at her friends. It had been like that for weeks now… She thought the nightmares had died with Corypheus. Still, Kalyn made no one aware of them; they would pass on soon enough. Stress did weird things, right?

 

Dressing into her casual wear, Kalyn hurried her way to the war table and summoned her council. Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana all gathered around the table, addressing different issues around Thedas and updating on other events. Josephine seemed rather eager about her information. “Empress Celene is hosting another ball, this time in celebrating Divine Victoria being elected. It's supposed to be a sort of… Gathering for everyone involved in taking down Corypheus, and she wants you to be there.” The ambassador couldn't stop smiling. It had been a while since Kalyn had even stepped into Orlais. The last time she had even been in the palace, nobles gawked at her hissed ‘knife-ear' under their breath. Now she had those exact nobles eating out of her hand for protection and support in their own political agendas. She smiled, nodding her head. “I can't wait, it's been some time since we've took part in The Game.” Gaspard was still alive, and the possibility for another civil war could be at any moment now with no threats to the world stopping him. Celene had been holding the Inquisition tightly for her support. Mutually using one another for political gain, Adeline had laughed when Leliana brought it to light. How wonderfully ironic that Celene was clinging onto two elves, one her lover, the other a powerful force for her to call upon.

"Cullen, how have the peasants been in the Hinterlands?” She looked the blonde and he smiled proudly as he responded. Moving one of his pieces across the board, he spoke, “Troops have made sure that those in Cross Roads are well fed. We have made contact with several refugee camps and have been sending them food caches bi-weekly.” Kalyn nodded, exhaling slowly. Good… The Hinterlands had been kind to her after she closed the rifts and stopped Alexius; those poor people had been through so much after the breach opened up. The rebel mages killing off simple peasants trying to survive the demon outbreak, and rogue templars attacking anything they thought suspicious.

Leliana touched her shoulder. “Kalyn, I said my spies have found Gaspard in the Storm Coast. He seems to be dormant for now, but his camp still has quite a few soldiers.” Good, Celene wouldn't have to know yet, but perhaps if rumours began… No. Normalcy had only just returned. Thedas needed time to recover still. “Keep an eye on him, but don't have rumours spread yet. For now, I want troops to remain helping the needy, and Josephine; find out who's going to the ball and which nobles are strong supporters of the Inquisition still. Lelianna…” Kalyn tucked a red strand of hair behind her pointed ear and sighed. “Keep looking, please.” The spymaster gave her a look of pity before nodding her head. They began to exit the room, Kalyn letting Josephine and Lelianna through first. Cullen stood back though, and gently took her arm, a gesture to stay.

Confused, the elf looked at her Commander. He appeared nervous. “Kalyn, I was ah…” He scratched the back of his neck, feet shuffling. “I wanted to ask you, if you were available this afternoon. I wanted to discuss some matters with you, it's-it's not urgent but… I would like to see you then.” His words were rushed and clumsy, and Kalyn was curious as to why. “Of course Cullen. I'll see you in your quarters.” Her voice was soft and she smiled politely before walking out of the war room, and into the main hall. The talk between nobles hushed as she entered, some glanced her way, some waved. It was only moments after they returned to their conversations and the silence filled once more.

Kalyn quickly rushed out the door, only to be stopped by a notorious dwarf. His laugh was impossible to not make her smile, and she turned on her heel to face him. “Hello, your _Inquisitorialness_.” He grinned. “Why off in such a hurry? Got another dragon sighting to take care of?” His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wooden table behind him. Her smile went weak and she sighed. “I'm going to the tavern to have a drink with the Chargers. You should join us!” The elf giggled, thinking back to when they had played Wicked Grace, and Cullen had ended up in the nude. A crazy night that had been. “Please? It's been awhile since anything… fun happened around here.” She watched Varric contemplate the offer before he chuckled and nodded his head. He said something about how terrible his hangovers get, but Kalyn hadn’t been listening completely. Her mind wandered as usual, and she idly made her way to the tavern with Varric at her side.

She pushed open the door and Bull was there to greet her. “Boss! Already looking for a drink?” He grinned, his shoulder wrapped around a rather tipsy Dorian. “ _Heart racing, eyes wide. Strong hands pull and tug like an eager child. Happiness; his heart is no longer empty._ ” Cole’s voice whispered behind her, though he sounded as if he was right in her ear. The Inquisitor glanced back at the boy, his amulet still hanging from his neck. “Hello, Cole. Did you want to join us?” She asked with a smile, gesturing him to follow as she pulled a seat up to the table and picked up the cup Krem slid her way.

“It's been… that kind of morning.” Kalyn answered to Bull as she took a gulp of her drink. The ale burned her throat and tasted bitter, but it went straight to her head, making her dizzy within moments. A tingling feel claws at her skin and burned her fingertips. This was Bulls _special_ drink. At the sound of her gagging on it Bull had billowed a throaty laugh and leaned over the table. “Ain't it the best boss?” His grin seemed to be permanently plastered onto his scarred mug and in his drunken he couldn't stop giggling. Yes, _giggling_.

Varric on the other hand wasn't looking to get wasted. He was drinking something lighter by the looks of it. The dwarf merely watched Kalyn and chuckled at her responses and actions. At one point she began blabbering about how she saw a young woman so thin in Val Royeax that she held her breath so she wouldn't fall down. Hours passed in the tavern, and Kalyn was drowsily watching Maryden sing, her eyes glazed over and her cup hanging loosely from her fingers. Iron Bull held a snoozing Dorian in his lap and seemed to have started dozing off himself. Varric had left before tables had been flipped over lost arm wrestling matches and Cole… disappeared. Kalyn slowly rose from her chair and leaned against the staircase to keep her steady. Her vision was shaky and the world felt flipped over. Not realizing she even dropped it, her cup fell to the ground as she suddenly remembered that morning. She was supposed to meet Cullen!

 _You idiot, he had some important things to say._ She grumbled to herself as she swayed and stumbled out of the tavern. It was mid-afternoon telling by the position of the sun. She held a hand over her eyes as the light was already giving her a headache. “Inquisitor? Are you alr-”

“I’m good Scout Harding!” She slurred, patting the girl on the head and giggling as she reached the bottom of the stairs. Somehow, after several minutes of concentration, Kalyn had climbed the staircase on her hands and feet. Standing on the battlements had made her a bit queasy, though. The sudden breeze gave her a chill but she was determined to stay by her word. Her feet shuffled and tripped over each other as she passed a few guardsmen, who gave her odd stares. “Cullen! I’m here for your report.” She stated loudly as she burst into his room.

The Commander jumped from his seat and furrowed his brows, and hesitantly, approached Kalyn. “What?” Her body leaned against the door when a wave of dizziness hit her again. Cullen sighed looked at the elf, closing his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face. “Inquisitor, I’m afraid it would be unprofessional of me to speak to you in this state. I think it would be best for you to go to your quarters and lie down.” From the tone of his voice it certainly wasn't a suggested and sounded more like an order. Kalyn had just stood there instead, unresponsive to his words. Her body shook and her face paled. “Kalyn?” Cullen then rushed to her side as she hurried outside and leaned over the edge of the battlements. The Commander cringed as she gagged and vomited, looking around. Right, just when he needed someone no one was around! He rubbed her back instead, looking away as she finished. The Inquisitor turned around slowly and her body was still shaking. “I'll bring you to your room.” Cullen stated, even if she seemed to completely disregard anything he was saying. She did let him carry her, though. He had her legs over one arm and held her from under her neck with the other. Her head rest against his shoulder and within minutes she was asleep. Cullen sighed as he carried her up the stairs to her room, his arms aching slightly. He never dropped her, though. She was safely carried and gently placed onto her bed, which she curled into almost immediately.

The Commander left quickly to get a healer, his mind racing with thoughts and voices that didn't belong to him. “ _She knows. She knows and she's avoiding it. She doesn't want **you**._ ” Easily Cullen had ignored them, his face stoic as usual while he continued on. He would be there when she awoke. He would be there for her. That's what she needed right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick note: ive yet to play the trespassers dlc. this fic is where trespassers has not happened but in the future some events from the dlc may happen!

The late evening was met with a headache pounding at her temples. “Fuck…” She grumbled, sitting up and putting her face in her hands. That was stupid… a very stupid mistake on her part. Not only from the fact she was a lightweight, but by the Gods she was the Inquisitor! She couldn't get blackout drunk and let her people see her that way. No doubt when she spoke to Sera she would be proud of it. Always encouraging Kalyn to be like ‘people'. 

A shuffle from across the room made her head turn up and she went to reach for one of her dual-blades beside her bed. A candle flickered on and she relaxed at the voice. “I'm sorry, I didn't- I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Cullen stammered, setting the candle tray on her bedside table. Kalyn shifted and patted the empty space in front of her for him to sit down. He politely rejected, and apologized. “Are you alright? Had me worried…” There was a brief silence before Kalyn answered, her chest heaving a heavy sigh.

She hadn't really been open about Solas’ departure. The heartbreak. She still hurt for him… “It's been stressful.” She laughed dryly. “Even more than when Corypheus was about to destroy our world. I… I can't stop thinking.” Cullen looked at her with a tilt of his head, waiting for her to continue. He was listening. Kalyn felt some comfort in that at least. “Solas. I don't know if he's okay; I feel like… because the orb broke, I failed him.” Even if Solas had ended things before the battle, Kalyn’s feelings wouldn't die down so quickly. She knew Solas  _ had _ to feel the same, right? He had said things were getting tense and too many… complications. Her questions would be answered after the battle, he said. Kalyn had convinced herself it was because he feared one of them would die that day; or perhaps both of them. She was unsure now. Dark whispers hissed in her ear that he intended on leaving since the beginning. Kalyn had become an obstacle from his goal and he left her because he favored whatever mission he had more than her. Them.

She forgot Cullen was there and jumped when he placed his hand on her knee. He was sitting in front of her now, watching her with kind eyes. “You didn't fail anyone, Kalyn. You were the one to save Thedas. You brought order back into this world. You  _ defeated _ a God!” He insisted, his confidence growing. Kalyn looked down at her lap and blushed, waving her hand dismissively. 

“You're flattering me.” She giggled, shaking her head. “I had the help with all of you.” Now she understood how Cassandra could tire of hearing stories where she single-handedly fought off dragons and saved Divine Justinia all on her own. So much work was put into this, it was selfish to take all the credit. “I'm sorry for worrying you.” Kalyn sighed as she combed her fingers through her hair. 

Cullen’s smile faltered slightly. “Don't be, I understand your actions. It sounds like you're going through a lot, I can understand that.” Oh… right.

“How  _ have _ you been? You seem better lately but… I don't want to make assumptions.” Kalyn saw her Commander straighten up with pride. She already knew the answer, and she put her hand on his arm.

“It's been getting easier. The headaches are much less often. Nightmares are, well, that's incurable. But I'm glad you convinced me to stop taking it.” Kalyn jumped forward and put her arms around Cullen in a hug, incredibly happy for his accomplishments. “Ah, Inquisitor?” He became nervous again, unsure what to do. 

Kalyn pulled away and rolled her eyes. “I'm just glad everything's turning up for you! A hug is harmless.” She teased, watching him blush.

“Right, I'm sorry I just- thank you, Kalyn.” He began to get up and cleared his throat. “I should get back, now that you're alright.” Kalyn nodded, beginning to stand up too. Her balance wasn't back yet, and she almost fell forward, Cullen catching arms and coaxing her to sit on the bed again. “You should rest.” He said softly, his eyes didn't meet hers.

“Wait, what were you going to say earlier?” Never had she felt like an imbecile more than now. Getting  _ drunk  _ right before meeting her Commander. Cullen brushed it off, though, backing away.

“It can wait, perhaps tomorrow.” He reassured her. Kalyn nodded her head and sighed, leaning back against her pillows. She started feeling drowsy again, listening to Cullen’s footsteps down the stairs until they were just faint shuffles.

* * *

The sun wasn't up yet, milky clouds still covered the sky when Kalyn awoke. She closed her eyes and reached for her side, biting her lip when she felt nothing there. Again… The habit to reach out, expecting him to be there beside her, was painful. Just a reminder that she was alone. 

“ _ Vhenan _ .” 

Kalyn opened her eyes and turned her head, pale grey eyes met her hazel and immediately she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Solas placed a hand at her chest and pushed her back against the bed. Rational thoughts left her mind as he climbed into bed and rest his head on her chest. The elf girl couldn't stop smiling, her fingers tracing patterns into his neck and shoulders. This was all she needed. Just to touch him again, to feel him up against her. It was just that, for several moments of silence. Of course, soon broken with a soft spoken question.

“How did you get here?” Kalyn murmured. Surely she would have been informed if Solas was even  _ near _ Skyhold. Leliana’s agents and Cullen’s watchmen couldn't have overlooked him. 

Solas sighed and nuzzled into her arm. “I'm not here.” He sounded defeated and tired, and even with the cryptic answer Kalyn understood. 

She was dreaming. They were in the Fade, she was still in the castle and he was… somewhere. Somewhere not even her advisors best agents could reach. Months of not hearing anything from him, and now he makes contact with her. Kalyn wanted to be angry, wanted to push him away and yell at him for leaving, she couldn't bring herself to. More than ever, more than any amount of anger, she just wanted to be with him again.

“I missed you.”

“I know.”

“Where are you staying?”

“I can't say.”

Kalyn shifted till she was sitting up and Solas sighed as he sat up as well across from her. Her hands found his and she looked up at him. “What did I do wrong?” She asked, watching his neutral expression turn as he frowned. He squeezed her hands and shook his head quickly.

“You did nothing wrong, Kalyn. You did absolutely nothing, I promise you.” He let go of one hand and reached up to touch her face, pulling her closer to him in another chaste kiss. “I was wrong to leave without warning I… I should have stayed and kept my promise to answer your questions. To tell you why we couldn't be together-”

“Then tell me now!” Kalyn pleaded, holding onto his arm tightly, not wanting him to leave again. Even if this wasn't real, consciously speaking, she never wanted to wake up if he was with her this way. Kalyn was desperate at this point. For so long she had to endure his absence, to go through the heartbreak. Seeing him, being able to touch him again, she felt all of it melt away. She wanted this to work more than anything.

Solas looked hesitant, pondering his options. Kalyn worried her bottom lip with her teeth and turned away when he answered. “This isn't the place.” Of course. She couldn't expect it to be that easy to get what she wanted. Answers. All she wanted from him were answers. “Ir abelas, vhenan.” He sighed and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “Please, be patient. Just a little longer.” He whispered, turned her chin to make her look at him. “I understand why you're upset, you have every right be. I just need more time.” Kalyn pulled away from him and bit the inside of her cheek. 

“Okay. I'll wait.” He smiled at her, and Kalyn rolled her eyes and pulled him closer again, humming softly while his fingers brushed through her thick red hair. When she opened her eyes again she was lying in her bed. Awake for real this time.  _ Just a little more time _ . She had agreed to wait, but how long she was unsure for. Her head still hurt, but maybe it was more from the stress than drinking now.    
_ Just a little longer. Just a little longer _ . She reassured herself, turning over in her bed and attempting to get a few hours of sleep before Josephine came in to wake her.


	3. Chapter 3

A week had passed since Solas had appeared in Kalyn’s dream. Seven day. One-hundred-sixty-eight hours… She continued to wonder how long she would have to wait to see him again. Touch him… The occurrence had shook her so much she had easily forgotten Cullen’s wish to talk privately, but he hadn't pressed her for it when she failed to show the day after.

She was at the war table again receiving reports as usual. Josephine had gathered the final date of the Empress’ ball; five days. Kalyn felt a little uneasy. The last time she had been to the Winter Palace she had done more sneaking and fighting than actually enjoy refreshments and treats. Hopefully this time would be different.

“My agents have heard only sightings of Solas’ appearance in the Emerald Graves, but he seems to be just one step ahead of us.” Leliana reported, her tone edged with frustration. Of course the spymaster would be; her job was to know _everything_ and one of the Inquisitions own allies was MIA, as well as acting almost peculiar. Solas’ fascination with the orb had been suspicious after Corypheus had been defeated.

His voice appeared in her thoughts again.

 

“ _Everything between us… it was real.”_

 

Kalyn frowned at the map, and exhaled tiredly. “He knows how we work. Everything about us, even. It shouldn't be our main issue though.” Kalyn watched their expressions turn up in surprise. She cleared her throat and continued. “I'm going to visit my Clan, and leave today. I'll be back before the ball, I just need to… reconnect. I trust the three of you can handle Skyhold in my absence as you normally would.”

With that she turned on her heel, and left for the stables. Horsemaster Dennet had fetched her wild hart, and she smiled as it nuzzled into her open hands for a scratch. She had only gathered Cole for this trip, as the less people she brought the quicker she would arrive. Not to mention she knew her Clan would be wary around anyone other than an elf like herself.

She bid the horsemaster farewell and climbed onto her mount, feeling Cole’s body behind hers and pulled at the reins. The hart began to race out of the castle and down the mountain path. Occasionally Kalyn would look over her shoulder to see the castle get smaller and smaller the farther they went. Her mind was racing with thoughts. Most of them memories of her mother, her keeper, her mentor. She only hoped when she came to their camp they would welcome her arrival. Welcome her as they would whenever she returned from her hunts.

“You're afraid they don't miss you.” She heard Cole begin, and her heart sank as he voiced her fears. “It's not their fault though… no one knew what would happen. You all thought you would be returning home.” Home… it was still home, of course. Kalyn leaned forward and rest her forehead against the neck of her hart and sighed, closing her eyes. Cole hesitantly raised his hand and placed it on the middle of her spine. “If it weren't important, I could help you forget… I'm sorry.”

Kalyn shook her head quickly and glanced back at Cole. “Don't be, please. I don't want to forget, I promise. I don't regret anything that's happened.” She reassured him. A small pull on the reigns fixed her mounts direction but when she turned to face Cole again, he was gone. Kalyn cleared her throat and looked on ahead, focusing on the journey to her Clan.

* * *

 

It had taken an entire day and half the next to get there. Kalyn hadn't even made camp, her excitement kept her awake and buzzing. She had a small bout of tiredness but when she stopped to bathe the cold water had refreshed her senses and kept her going. The soft trodding of the beast she mounted slowed when she could see the ribbons hanging from the tree's. Dalish symbols, she wondered if Solas would have said anything about them. Did they get it wrong again? Were they something negative against their kind, just like her facial markings?

Cole appeared as she stopped and dismounted, tying the reigns to a thick tree root before continuing on foot. She smiled as her fingertips traced the soft moss along gnarled roots and gently pulled along the vines that hung from their branches. “Good memories.” Kalyn heard Cole say, practically feeling the shy smile in his voice. He was right. She had nothing but good memories with her Clan. Her family. Always there for her, protecting her. Then she left them.

Her chin turned up as the treetops rustled with movement, and suddenly a cloaked figure appeared merely inches from her. Kalyn did not reach for her dual blades, though. The scent of dawn lotus and wind graced her senses and she cried out, jumping forward and wrapping her arms around the elf in front of her. “Pa!” She buried her face into his neck and she smiled as a soothing chuckle and warm hand pulled her close.

 

“Come, Keeper Deshanna has been waiting for you.”


	4. Chapter 4

It began to rain as they hiked further up the mountain, passing small herds of halla darting for cover. Kalyn had been offered her father's cloak, which she accepted gratefully. It smelled just like home. The hood covered most of her face, and she realized she would have to give a rather… strange explanation.

 

How would she tell them about the Vallaslin?

 

Slave markings. Brandings. Solas had said he tried to educate the Dalish before; give them the proper insight of what the Gods truly were. They had called him a madman and a liar… Would she be titled as such too? Or blame the Inquisition for changing her beliefs? Her heart sank when they reached camp, but her father still hummed with delight. His daughter was home, as far as he was concerned.

 

A few skeptical gazes were cast her way, then turned curious. Kalyn suddenly felt uncomfortable when the hunters at the opening of the clearing began whispering when she passed by. Keeper Deshanna had known that she could not return, right? She didn't betray them! There was an entire continent that needed her aid. Her power.

 

She wanted to cower into her father's side like she did when just a little girl. He would always sweep her off her feet and bring her somewhere quiet to relax and calm down. Kalyn hadn't felt so overwhelmed before, not within her own Clan at least. Refraining from doing so, instead Kalyn stood up straight and pulled down the hood of the cloak when approaching the Keeper.

 

Her father's guiding arm left her, but he still stood close to her side. “Keeper, she has come home.” He announced, proud thick in his voice. Kalyn could imagine the corners of his eyes crinkling when he smiled. It gave her little comfort when the Keeper merely stared. Studying her hand first, taking it in her own and tracing long deft fingers over the scars the mark still bore.

 

“You've been away for a very long time.” She mused, squeezing her hand before finally meeting Kalyn’s gaze. She seemed shocked, then rested a hand on her cheek. She had to fight back the urge to move away. The markings of Falon’din decorated her hand, and she wanted no part in it. She didn't, of course. Instead bearing through it.

 

“Where is your Vallaslin, child? Did they… Did the shemlen force it away from you?” Her voice, kind and sweet moments ago, was now hardened and stern. As if scolding Kalyn. She could only imagine what she was thinking. The humans had used magic, blood magic, to tear away the sacred traditions of the Dalish. Kalyn pitied them.

 

A few moments of silence as she thought of what to say drew on awkwardly. Her father withdrew from her side to stand at the Keepers side now. His gaze was softer, though, almost sympathetic.

 

“No. It was by my choice. They are… not what we originally believed.” She saw Cole sitting upon a ledge behind them, swinging his legs idly. Suddenly she wanted to leave; this wasn't a good idea after all. Not when Keeper Deshanna was twisting her expression sourly and shaking her head.

 

“Is that what they told you?” Her voice was bitter, making Kalyn wince.

 

“No… It was…” _One of our own._ She wanted to say. She couldn't. Solas _wasn't_ her people. “An apostate. He studies the Fade and has a much larger understanding of our history.” Disbelief came next. No. No they couldn't cast her out like he had been. She couldn't be exiled from her family for this. For the _truth_ dammit.

 

“They are slave markings, Keeper. The God's would brand their slaves with the Vallaslin. We were wrong about them.”

 

 _We were wrong_. It had been hard to accept, but Kalyn found it harder to repeat. To tell her family that one of their most sacred traditions was one of the most terrible practices. She had a small sliver of hope that they would be open to understanding like she had been. Willing to listen, just like her. It crumbled when she was answered with a dismissive wave of a hand.

 

“No, we will not discuss this here, not now.” Her father stepped in and put a hand on her shoulder. Kalyn looked up at him with tear filled eyes, and he carefully brushed them away. “Kalyn has returned home, and we should welcome her. After all she has done for this world.” He pulled her into another tight hug and held onto him. She was tired and wet from the rain, her boots covered in mud now making her shift uncomfortably.

 

“I would like to rest, please.” She murmured into his tunic. She wanted to crawl into a bedroll and sleep. Forget about the look of utter disappointment Keeper Deshanna had given her. Her heart still felt heavy wondering if they would now brand her as an outsider for it. They didn't know! If they had known Solas like she had, listened to his intellect and all the knowledge he had… They would believe it.

 

Her father brought her to his tent,lighting a lantern and setting it down carefully. “Do you believe me?” She asked, voice shaky as she drew her knees to her chest. She buried her face in her arms when she heard a slow sigh leave his lips. He wasn't quick to reply, either. Quietly taking her boots and setting them outside her tent.

 

When he did, however, she looked up at him and smiled weakly. “I believe you're not gullible.” His own Vallaslin was Dirthamen, and her mind wandered to the stories Solas told of him. He seemed rather questionable as well with Falon’din. “You are a smart woman, Kalyn. I understand the choice was not one you made so easily. I still see you as my daughter.” She giggled when he leaned forward and kissed her forehead and ruffled her ginger hair.

 

“Go to sleep, Da’len. I'll wake you when the Keeper wants to speak again.”

 

The lantern was blown out, and Kalyn leaned back into her bedroll with a tired exhale. She felt like an adolescent preparing to be punished. No wonder Sera despides the Dalish; she could see why now. Understand from her point of view, anyhow. They really _did_ think they knew everything.

 

“Do you want me to make them forget?” Kalyn rolled over to see Cole sitting cross-legged beside her. “We can go back home. You feel unwanted. The walls won't come down, the fear is closing in. But they already accept you, they're just scared. Confused.”

 

“It's okay, Cole. I want to give it a try.” She reassured him, rolling over to face away from him now and pulling the cloth over herself. Tomorrow she would face the Keeper. The one responsible for preserving their history. Their people's traditions and livelihood.

 

She felt uncomfortable challenging a tradition like this… It _had_ to be attempted. Kalyn couldn't give up on them. Not yet. Not on her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the shorter chapter. ive been having too many ideas and not enough time to keep track of them. i will get longer chapters in though and more plot-action-stuff happening very soon!!


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